The New Super Luigi?
by StephenThePlaystationDude
Summary: Mario comes to make Luigi an offer. But how does Luigi feel about this particular scary offer? Warning: Features strong language.


One day Luigi was at his new mansion reading a book, when he suddenly heard the doorbell ring. He went to answer it. It was his older brother Mario.

"Oh hey, Mario. You said you wanted to talk to be about something important?"

"That's right, may I come in?"

"Certainly."

Mario and Luigi sat in the living room, drinking some cups of tea.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Luigi, how do you feel about being a sidekick?"

"Well to be honest, it's not been that bad. I've had better recognition over the years now. I'm a playable character in many games now, and I'm even the main character in a few ones. Super Luigi U, Luigi's Mansion 2, and I' ve got my own game Super Luigi Bros in NES Remix 2.

"Life's gotten better eh?"

"Heh….now that there actually exists a Super Luigi Bros game. Idiots will stop believing that theory that our last names are Mario."

"Heh…yeah."

"They'll also probably be less of those stupid fanfics of me being jealous, going crazy and killing everyone."

Mario thought it over. "No…not judging by what I've seen."

Luigi sighed and frowned. "What really!? They still exist?"

"Sadly so."

Luigi facepalmed. "Mama Mia. Some things never change."

"I've come to make you an offer. How would you like to be the hero from now on? Be….Player 1 from now on?"

Luigi spat out some tea he was sipping. "You CAN NOT be serious!?"

"I AM SERIOUS." Mario replied. He then pointed to his own face. "Look, this is my serious face."

"Why would YOU want to give it all up?"

"I'm jealous of you."

"YOU jealous of ME!? WHAT THE FUCK!? WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE'S THE REAL MARIO?"

"He's here and he wants you to take over."

"Why?"

"I'm sick of it. I'm….TOO FAMOUS. Everywhere I go, it's oh my god, it's Mario. Save us, Mario! We need your help! I'm sick of constantly rescuing that princess. I'm sick of constantly having to save the world over and over. I want a peaceful life. If she's just gonna be kidnapped every 5 minutes, then it's not worth it! I'm sick of my life."

He then turned to Luigi and made a creepy face. "Luigi, I want your life."

Luigi started getting creeped out. "O.K now you're scaring me."

So few people ever say. "Hey! The great Luigi! You have tons less of a fanbase then I do. Your princess Daisy doesn't get kidnapped constantly, she too has a nice more peaceful kingdom. Nobody ever gives a shit about invading Sarasaland! Daisy's only ever been attacked ONCE by an alien. Sarasaland hasn't constantly been wrecked by Bowser's attacks. That princess Daisy's a lucky bitch. Barely anybody outside Sarasaland knows her too!"

Luigi was beginning to get terrified. "My god…all those adventures and life threatening situations has made him go crazy. " He thought. "He's like a soldier who's just barely survived a war."

Luigi had often thought about being a hero. But he often thought if he was really hero-like material. Throughout Luigi's Mansion 1 and 2, he was constantly terrified, in Luigi's Mansion 2, he was even willing on one occasion to refuse helping Elvin Gadd. If the game was Mario's mansion, Mario would have taken on the ghosts with no fear at all and without shaking once.

He had also panicked on numerous occasions through out the Mario and Luigi series.

Luigi had officially decided, he wasn't hero-like material. And although not anti-social, he also had poor social skills and didn't know how to deal with people chanting his name and saying. "Hey! It's the great Luigi!" He decided he preferred being unknown and just letting Mario hog everything.

Mario and Luigi believe it or not….had completely separate personalities.

And seeing how often princess Peach was getting kidnapped, it wasn't worth having Mario's life, and seeing just how crazy Mario had become from his constant life-threatening adventures. He decided being a hero was definitely out.

"I'm not having your life." Luigi growled. "It's made you gone crazy."

"You have no choice. Join me, or I'll knock you out and send you to Princess Peach with my red clothes. And those Toads will fall for anything."

Luigi tried to offer a peaceful approach. "Look there's a guy who's an even bigger nobody then I am. He's a big tall skinny guy who wears purple clothes with a hat with an upside L. He's not doing anything and he wants to be famous, why not go bother him!?"

"Waluigi!? He deserves to be mistreated! Join me!" Mario growled putting up his fists.

Luigi ran out of the room scared. What could he do!? Then an idea came to his mind, he ran to his closet and got his new improved Poltergeist 3000, from Luigi's Mansion 2. He then set the vacuum to full blast forward.

Mario was walking around Luigi's Mansion holding a baseball bat. "Luigi…..oh Luigi, come on out and we'll talk."

"TALK THIS!" Luigi snarled jumping out. "He then turned on his vacuum, Mario's hat then flew off his face and then the bat threw out of his hand and up the vacuum. Finally Mario himself went flying towards the vacuum and up the Poltergeist 3000. Luigi then turned the vacuum off.

Mario was trapped in the vacuum. "LET ME OUTTA HERE!" he yelled.

"I think you need to chill out." Luigi then set the vacuum to powerful reverse. He then walked outside his home, aimed the vacuum and turned it on. Mario then went shooting up backwards into the air and crashed into Luigi's trash can, just outside his mansion.

In the horrible stench. Mario then thought. "You know maybe Waluigi really does deserve a chance."

THE END.


End file.
